The Messenger's consideration to people's feelings
Islam aims to please and reform people, therefore it laid many
principles and basics to protect feelings and preserve emotions
because this increases affability among people.
I saw an instructor calling one of his students saying: "Came, O
blind" hurting his feelings. Another person saw a sick man and said to
him: "Praise be to Allah who has saved me from this affliction"
without taking into consideration that he is saying that loudly,
hurting the feeling of the sick.
- Islam called to promote good word, Allah (may He be Exalted) said on
the tongue of His Messenger (peace be upon him) in his dialogue with
infidels: "Say (O Muhammad peace be upon him to these polytheists,
pagans, etc.) You will not
be asked about our sins, nor shall we be asked of what you do." [Surat
Saba': 25].
He did not say: You shall not be asked about what we did, and we shall
not be asked about your sins. Allah (Exalted be He) says: "And speak
good to people (i.e. enjoin righteousness and forbid evil, and say the
truth about Muhammad peace be upon him)." [Surat Al Baqarah: 83].
He also said: "And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of
Islâmic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are
the best." [Surat Al Isra': 53].
- Islam stresses not hurting the feelings of a mistaken. Al Bukhari
reported on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) who said: "A bedouin urinated in the mosqueand some people rushed
to beat him up.The Prophet
(peace be upon him) said:"Leave him alone and pour a bucket of water over it.
Then the Prophet (peace be upon him) commanded his Companions to leave
that ignorant bedouin until he finishes urination. When he finished,
the Prophet commanded that a bucket of water would be poured over his
urine to remove
impurity then the Messenger (peace be upon him) called the bedouin
saying: "It is not proper to use the mosque for urinating or easing
oneself. They are merely built for the remembrance of Allah and the
recitation of the Qur'an."
Mu`awiyah ibn Al Hakam As-Sulamy narrated: "While I was praying with
the Messenger of Allah (may peace and blessings be upon him), a man in
the company sneezed. I said: May Allah bless you! The people stared at
me with disapproving looks, so I said: May my mother lose me, why are
you staring at me? They began to strike their hands on their thighs,
and when I saw them urging me to observe silence (I became angry) but
I said nothing. When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) had
offered Salah (and I declare that neither before him nor after him
have I seen a leader who gave better instruction than he for whom I
would give my father and mother as ransom).By Allah, I have never seen
an instructor
better than him in teaching. I swear that he did not scold, beat or
revile me but said: Talking to persons is not fitting during Salah,
for it consists of
glorifying Allah, declaring his Greatness." [Reported by Muslim].
- Islam commanded us to ask for permission before entering private
places. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "O you who believe! Enter not
houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and
greeted those in them, that is better for you, in order that you may
remember. *And if you find no one therein, still, enter not until
permission has been given to you. And if you are asked to go back, go
back, for it is purer for you. And Allâh is All-Knower of what you
do." [Surat An-Nur: 28].
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "If anyone of you
asks the permission to enter thrice, and the permission is not given,
then he should return." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim]. So,
whoever asks permission thrice and permission is not given, he should
go back and do not insist on entering so as not to hurt people's
feelings. If the door is open, a guest should stand at the side of the
door and seek permission. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)
used to stand at the side of the door when he visited people without
facing the door. He said: (Peace be upon you! Peace be upon you!)
because there were no curtains at house doors at that time. [Sahih Abu
Dawud 5186].
When the house door is opened, a guest should not look inside but
should look at the one who opened the door because the Messenger
(peace be upon him) said: "When one has a look into the house, then
there is no (need of) permission." [Authentic, Musnad Ahmad 16 / 319].
- Islam prohibited insulting the dead because insulting them hurts the
feelings of the living. So, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)
said: "Do not abuse the deadbecause they have reached the result of
what they forwarded." [Reported by Al Bukhari].
- The Messenger (peace be upon him) considered the feelings of people
during Salah. `Uthman ibn Abu Al `As narrated that the Prophet (peace
be upon him) said: "Lead your people in Salah. And whoever leads a
group of people in Salah, he should lighten it because among them
there are the old, the sick, the weak, and the busy (needy having some
jobs to do).However, when someone offers Salah alone, he may offer a
lengthy Salah as he wishes." [Sahih Al Jami` 1398].
- The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to consider the feelings of
those who are inflicted by a misfortune and consoled them. Ibn `Umar
said: "When `Abdullah ibn Ubay ibn Salul (the hypocrite) died, his son
`Abdullah ibn `Abdullah came to Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
and asked him to give his shirt which should be used for the coffin of
his father. He gave that to him. He also asked Allah's Messenger (may
peace be upon him) to lead his funeral prayer. When the
Prophet (may peace be upon him) stood up to perform the Prayer over
him thereupon `Umar caught hold of the clothes of Allah's Messenger
(may peace be upon him)and said: O Messenger of Allah, are you going
to offer the Prayer, whereas Allah has forbidden to offer the Prayer
for him? Upon this the Messenger of Allah (may peace and blessings be
upon him) remarked: Allah has given me a choice saying: Whether you (O
Muhammad) ask forgiveness for them (hypocrites) or ask not forgiveness
for them (and even) if you ask seventy times for their forgiveness,
[Surat At-Tawbah: 80] I will make an addition to the seventy. He said:
He was a hypocrite and Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him)
performed Prayer over him and Allah, the Exalted and Glorious,
revealed the Ayah: "And never (O Muhammad peace be upon him) pray
(funeral prayer) for any of them (hypocrites) who dies, nor stand at
his grave." [Surat At-Tawbah: 84]. So, he did not offer Salah for them
thereafter." [Reported by Al Bukhari].
- The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to consider the conditions of
beggars and did not hurt them. When a beggar did not deserve money,
the Prophet (peace be upon him) would not give him the money and reply
to him nicely. `Ubaydullah ibn `Ady ibn Al Khayyar said: "Two men told
me that they came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) in the
Farewell Hajj while he was distributing charities and asked him for
part of them. So, he looked to us from up downwards and saw us
powerful. He said: "If you want, I shall give some of it, but there is
no share for a rich person in it or a powerful person who can earn his
penny." [Authentic Musnad Ahmad 17511].
- When a person comes to meet you while you are busy or you do not
want to meet him, reply to him nicely and do not rebuke him. It was
reported that the Messenger (peace be upon him) had said: "Seventy
thousand people of my followers will enter Paradise without accounts.
People said: Who are they, O Messenger of Allah? He said: They are
those who do not practice cauterization do not use
Ar-Ruqya, and on their Lord they rely. `Ukkashah stood up and said: By
Allah, invoke Allah for me to make me part of them. He said: (you are
among them). He said: A man stood and said: "O Allah's Prophet! Invoke
Allah, to make me part of them. He said: (`Ukashah preceded you with
it)." [Sahih Muslim 218].
It was reported in the book of "the commentary of An-Nawawy on Sahih
Muslim" that he said: The second man did not deserve that rank -unlike
`Ukashah- so, the Prophet (peace be upon him) answered him with
probable speech without declaring that he was not one of them.
I see someone recites the Qur'an loudly in the masjid and that harms
Musallin (those who offer Salah), someone turns up the sound of TV and
that harms his neighbors, and another leaves his children crying and
making noise which harms his neighbors. Another person offers Salah in
masjid but harms people with the smell of sweat and allium which he
ate. Another smokes in transportations and harms passengers. Another
sits comfortably leaving others in tight places whether in the masjid
and transportations without considering people's feelings.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Lo! every one of you is calling
his Lord quietly. One should not trouble the other and one should not
raise the voice in recitation or in prayer over the voice of the
other." [Sahih Al Jami` 2639].
- Those people may justify their actions by a simple explanation which
we refute with the Prophet's saying: "He who misappropriates the right
of a Muslim by taking a false oath, Allah will condemn him to the fire
of Hell and will forbid Paradise for him." A person asked: "O
Messenger of Allah, even if it is something insignificant?" He
replied: "Yes, even if it is the twig of the Arak tree." [Sahih
Muslim].
I see someone leaves his children mess for a long time in a house he
visits and be a heavy guest. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And when
you have taken your meal, disperse, without sitting for a talk.
Verily, such (behaviour) annoys the Prophet, and he is shy of (asking)
you (to go)." [Surat Al Ahzab: 53].
- I see someone who jokes heavily with another by frightening him or
hiding his possessions, and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"None of you should take the property of his brother in amusement
(i.e. jest), nor in earnest." [Good, Sahih Abu Dawud 5003]. He also
said: "Do not frighten Muslims, for frightening Muslims is a great
injustice." [Al Albany graded it as weak Da`if Al Jami`: 6211].
The Messenger (peace be upon him) prohibited secret talks between two
person if they are three to preserve the feeling of the third person.
He said: "When three persons are together, then no two of them should
hold secret counsel excluding the third person." [Sahih Al Bukhari
(6288)].
- I see a father keeps saying to his children that he exerts a lot of
efforts to support them. And a mother troubles her children by saying
that she serves them all the time, so the children get hurt and feel
they are heavy. Another always reminds those whom he helped of his
favor, whereas Islam prohibited us from using this way. Abu Dhar
reported that the Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "There are three
types of people whom Allah will neither talk to, nor look at, nor
purify them, and they have a painful torment. Abu Dhar said: The
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) recited thrice. Abu Dhar said:
They are doomed and destroyed! Who are they, O Messenger of Allah? He
said: "One who lets his clothes down, the one who reminds people of
his favor, and a man who takes an oath falsely that he has been
offered for his goods so much more than what he is given." [Reported
by Muslim].
- When you find someone needs something but he cannot demand it,
preserve his feelings and fulfill his need. Allah (Glory be to Him)
says: "So hasten towards all that is good." [Surat Al Baqarah: 148].
Abu Sa`id Al Khudry narrated that when we were travelling with the
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), a rider came riding a camel.
He [the narrator] said: and began looking right and left. Upon this
the Messenger of Allah (may peace and blessings be upon him) remarked:
"Whoever has an extra mount should offer it to him who is without it,
and whoever has surplus food should give it to him who has nothing."
He [the narrator] said: He continued mentioning other properties until
we thought that none of us had any right to surplus of his own
property. [Sahih Muslim].
- When someone offers you a present and you refused it for some
reason, explain to him the reason of refusal kindly because Abu Jahm
gifted a decorated garment to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon
him), and when the Prophet (peace be upon him) finished Salah, he
looked at its decoration. When he started to leave the place of Salah,
he said: Take this garment to Abu Jahm and get me his Inbijaniya (a
woolen garment without marks)as it (the Khamisah) has diverted my
attention from Salah." [Sahih Al Bukhari]. So, the Prophet (peace be
upon him) explained the reason of refusal.
- Some people justify their harsh words by saying that they did not
know that their words or actions are hurting the feeling of people but
their justification is rejected because in order to make ignorance a
reason for pardon, there should not be negligence in learning because
Islam ordained upon us to learn so that we would be able to construct
the earth. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "Read! In the Name of your
Lord, Who has created (all that exists)," [Surat Al `Alaq: 1].
The Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "Judges are three: One of whom
will go to Paradise and two to Hell. The one who will go to Paradise
is a man who knows what is right and gives judgment accordingly; but a
man who knows what is right and acts tyrannically in his judgment will
go to Hell; and a man who gives judgment for people when he is
ignorant will go to Hell." [Authentic, At-Tirmidhy 1185].
Mahmoud Abd ElKader
www.mahmkd.net.ms
*This article has been published on AlAluka website on 25-5-2014 on this link
http://en.alukah.net/Shariah/0/3900/
http://en.alukah.net/Shariah/0/3903/
